Noy Biling

talidhay ug  kadasig nahugno

luha sa kapakyasan mitulo

aduna pa bay laing hugna sa paglaom?

sa kaalingogngog aduna pa bay nagpahipi nga kahilom

               *               *               *

mga pangutana nga way tukmang tubag

niining galamhan nga gusbat ug yabag

 latas sa kinabuhi dili na hisabtan

nahikatulog sa kangitngit nga nagbangutan                

                *              *               *

 gidawat ang tanyag sa mga demonyo

nagpakaulipon sa kadaot ug mala’ng bisyo

adlaw, gabii ikaw nagpakamisteryoso

sa pagtuo nga mahaw-as sa kinabuhing kalbaryo

              *              *               *

ang kanhi mo’ng mahait nga salabotan

nagibang kini sa daotan mo’ng binuhatan

mga igsuon nga sugboanon, namalandong

nga sa imong pagkasukamod, ikaw mobangon

          *               *                *

nahanaw ang mga linalang nga imong gihigugma

nabitag ka sa laang, ikaw nahigmata

sa makausa, ikaw nangutana

aduna pa bay kahayag niining kinabuhia?……noybiling

ang kamingaw dili gayod mapugngan

sa way pu-as nga paghandom sa akong yuta’ng natawhan

nagtuo ka, nga sa dayon, ikaw gihikalimtan

sa akong pagpanimpalad nigamot ka sa akong panumdoman

    *                    *                    *

sa akong pagpahilayo

tanang gabii ki’ng kasing2x ko nagabakho

dili ko tuyo nga hingpit ka’ng hikalimtan

gumikan sa nag-usbaw’ng himaya nga atong gisaw-an

     *                    *                   *

dakong supak sa akong kaugalingon,

nga talikdan ka, akong pinanggang BORBON

ako nanglangyaw para magpaulipon

aron lamang mahaw-as sa tumang kawad-on

     *                    *                    *

bisan asa ako mahidangat

kanunay kong gipasigarbo ang imong kaanyag

dili lamang sa nagtapun-og mong bahandi

kon dili ang lawas mong walay sama ka putli

     *                    *                   *

kami’ng imong mga anak mapahiyumon

mga tigulang man o mga batan-on

tambag lang inigsuon, mga higala!!!

ayaw tutoki og dugay basin mabihag ka

     *                    *                    *

budbod kabog sa lugo dili ikatandi,

ang talagsa-on niyang kalumoy ug kalami

og ang nagkadaiya’ng wanang sa panginabuhi

sa lumad, gipasigarbo ug gimithi

     *                    *                    *

ang imong nataran wa’y sama kanindot

kami’ng imong mga anak nagtigom ug nagkapundok

nga imong tugkaran among palambuon

aron mulotaw ang talagsa-on mong katahom

     *                    *                    *

gimatuto mo kaming matinahuron og maabi-abihon

nga maoy bugtong bahandi nga dili mahimong labnihon

kami imong mga anak lumad BORBONANON

og gibantog ka sa imong pagkamalinawon

     *                    *                    *

busa abi-abihon ko kamo’ng tanan, puti, itom o tabunon man

nga du-awon ang akong pinanggang  yuta’ng natawhan

kay kon imo na unya kini’ng masaksihan

ambot lang, kon dili ka ba mahigam…….noybiling

After two weeks from the time I landed my feet down to the place (Dublin, Ireland) of doubts and uncertainties, I received a letter from my beloved Nanay… quoted some few lines from her letter…

                       “ though I never wish for anyone of you to be away of sight yet I can’t hold you because I know very well that I can’t suffice the comforts and the pleasures that you’ve now with your present calling, so life must go on…, this is LIFE…, one has to pave the way to let another go and LIVE… my love for all of  you is boundless and priceless yet I can’t give the material things that you need to lead a happy and comfortable life in this kind of social order of ours on earth, but GOD knows how much I wish to provide all of you but human as I am and maybe weak as I am in person I can’t find ways to realize these hopes and dreams.” 

                       Morag kumoton ang akong dughan hangtod ning higayona, while reading her heart-warming yet consoling letter…It gives me an idea and so much impetus to look back the days of my childhood, down memory lane…

                      Gone were the days of cuddling me in your lap, watching my first tooth erupts, preparing my morning breakfast meal, learning my ABC’s and putting me in my warm bed snugly, sleeping in my deepest slumber…I’ve witnessed all these things from my beloved wife LIEZL rendering care, the same routine to my Romano and Matt… those were good memories that are still embedded in my mind and will be remembered for life…

                       NAY!!!! As I read your letter again and again, I can’t help to be sentimental as tears start to shed on my checks. It gave me a vivid picture and view of your struggles just to give us the best and comforts in life. It entails a self sacrifice, patience, strongest will and resiliency with unconditional love sans expecting something in return… you’ve done more than what is expected and I truly salute you for that… what more can I ask for? It maybe that along your adversities you felt that you have missed out something and had not given your best shot, but I’ll tell you now with a thankful heart that your countless efforts are acknowledged and recognized…and I treasure you beyond any simple words I can say… I am proud to tell the world that you are my mother and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. I am very appeased for what you’ve done and have not missed anything with regards to providing our comforts and needs. It’s a fact that life is not smooth laden and problem free. Perhaps there were moments that you were off balance but you held on, remain undaunted and unafraid. You were optimistic with your plight, guided by your principles. These challenges are the real impetus to let you strive more just to make both ends meet… a job well done NAY!!!

                       It might not be easy to accept that there are things in life we can not change but instead follow. We are victims of circumstances that are out of our own control. Just like this moment now, that I have to leave you all and home to seek a better and greener pasture… it pains me so much to keep you all in a distance but I must lead a way to discover a far more better life in order to render my support and show forth my gratitude in giving back whatever I can…you have suffered a late onset of diabetes associated with high blood pressure which I believe caused by too much struggles and stress of your life experience… and it’s all because of your unconditional LOVE to us… life is a cycle itself, its mysteries has to be gently learned. No matter where fate might lead me, rest assured that my heart and mind will always be there with you all…

                             Nay, I wish to thank you for all the LOVE, SUPPORT and GENEROUSITY shared to me all through the years of my life… I know a lifetime of gratitude won’t be enough to compensate everything you have shared and taught. How I truly wish things would remain indelible, but human as we are, vulnerability sets in…, we are then affected by change but somehow we have overcome each trying moments.

                             Now NAY!!!, I am proud of thanking you again because the search for genuine treasures and gold is within my reach… achieving my goals, attaining success with sacrifice and perspiration and most of all having you all (Tatay, brothers, sister and my Romano, my Matt and my lovely wife LIEZL) are the real treasures worth than any priceless gold… not all that glitters are gold, it needs to be polished several times to know its real value… BE DECEIVED NOT!!!

   I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH NAY!!!… YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION…!!!!

                                                                                               Heart of GOLD,

                                                                                                   Noy biling